

Summer School
for Stockholm
DANCE MOVEMENT THEATRE
7 DAY COURSE
STOCKHOLM SWEDEN

21st
Celebration
EVENING DANCE
HAMILTON HOUSE
BRISTOL - UK

The Flower Drum
2019
4 DAY DANCE INTENSIVE
CORNWALL
UK

The River That Finds
Us
1 YEAR FOUNDATION COURSE
CORNWALL
UK
A FILMIC STUDY ON THE NATURE OF GRIEF
AUDIENCE RESPONSE
ITERATION #1



SURVEY RESPONSES
After giving space and time for the experience to settle, audience members were invited to complete a survey after each screening of A PECULIAR SHADE OF BLUE .
It is noteworthy people often write reflections at length and in great detail. I have edited to a substantial degree, but also feel to stay with what is being expressed at depth and listen.
The act of completing the survey seems to present an important part of an overall process, so I remain mindful about facilitating the audience through 'the other side' of an event to completion.
Below are some direct reflections from a mix of both online and in-person audiences between March - September 2022.
HOW DID YOU FIND THE EXPERIENCE OVERALL?
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"A Peculiar Shade of Blue works on so many levels. The films are beautiful; a feast for the eyes and the senses generally. Watching them is an immersive experience - slow, deep, and intense. Watching can be wistful, and it can also be very painful. I wept tears I needed to let flow. I thought thoughts I’d been scared to think. I saw into myself, and others - and felt better for it, the other side. The whole thing felt transformative. You can lose yourself in these films, and find yourself too."
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"I knew that I was going to have an 'after' experience. I did not however, anticipate the depth reached. To put the experience in words is challenging. . . . I went in open, had the perfect seat, mid screen and was drawn straight in. Immersed and mesmerised. I spent the following week "being", working out if I was letting something go? If I was taking something in? Feeling lighter, not feeling empty, but feeling."
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"I think this was an amazing experience. As a young audience member (15 yrs) I think it's a really important thing for all ages to be able to see this. I found it so cool to be a part of something that has touched peoples hearts in a very emotional way, and was amazing seeing how they reacted. It has changed my ideas of grief and opened my eyes to new thoughts and ideas."
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"From the get-go, I loved the mix of poetry (which is so stunning and profound) with amazing images and music score. But what struck me most was the courage of the performer and how she was prepared to go into those dark, painful areas of emotion without flinching. There was no self-conscious art about this; it was honest and, at times, brutal. That and the synchronicity with the natural world in the sense of a performer/artist driving their own creativity to seek out that communication with the natural world rather than imposing their order on it and the will to keep going and to keep the work honest in the face of high emotional stakes when it would be easier to fall back on more ‘artistic’ work which may look good but wouldn’t have the same emotional depth."
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"This film cycle sits in the memory long after the immediate experience, continues to reveal itself, on reflection, for its emotional depth and cathartic qualities, being a mirror for personal experience within grief and grieving. The filmic experience, long after, offers an opportunity for further reflection and a deepening of understanding of how our own personal grief and the culturally endorsed conditions surrounding expression of grief within the contemporary western world are interwoven, how we might want to change this relationship, and, importantly how the participatory experience of A Peculiar Shade Of Blue is offering to break open the constrictions that these conditions have brought to bear."
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"I liked that we brought stones that we met while walking with intent of grief. Actually most have come to me after the film share, it is like the films have slowly sunken in. I have seen a lot of colors related to grief around me, how it is nuancing so much in our daily lifes and us being humans. At the time of seing the films I first didn´t feel much, but now I know the feelings came after a few days, and it is fine (and interesting). I think almost the slower it gets, the more deep it becomes."
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"This is a work of tension – between art and reality, between silence and poetry, between nature and human being, between pain and loss and joy and transformation, artist and audience, and the process that engendered it reflects that pull between two opposites at every moment of the process and captures that tension wholly and beautifully."
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"I found them very powerful. Intense, and sometimes not intense enough. In general I find we do not explore uncomfortable corners of the human landscape enough, but these films have the ability to go into those corners. It is complex to be human and if we do not enter there, we only live half lives. The films meet you at the edge of life and that in itself is life-giving. I did find that when the films stoped I wanted to linger, to let the experience filter through the body and mind. "
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"This is a project that sparks conversation, that has people sharing experiences, on a very personal level, both inwardly and expressively, if not creatively and communally, that I feel will evolve with that interaction, will grow new dimensions, and will birth itself anew, perhaps allowing us to explore other culturally conservative artefacts, artifices and conditions which are in need of more open dialogue, healing and change."
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"When I think back on it, so many amazing images flash before my eyes, but I have a profound sense of peace when I think of it. Grief, yes; still bubbling away there under the surface. But it also makes me feel connected. I am not alone. Watching the films, I was mesmerised each time. I let them carry me at the time; let them touch my senses without thinking too much about what was going on. But afterwards, they stayed in my mind – they are still there. This is deep work, long-haul stuff."



HAVE THE FILMS INFLUENCED YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH GRIEF?
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"Witnessing and watching A Peculiar Shade of Blue changed my relationship with grief. It reminded me just how much grief I hold. It made it feel OK that this is the case. It reflected honestly the horror-side of grief; the painful dark places from which you think you will never escape or recover, that seem to suck you in and threaten to extinguish you utterly. Then the endless, grey, achingly stuck times. The stasis and the dejection and the sheer exhaustion of it. But it also showed the calming periods; the ‘in between’ times when the light cuts through and all is not forever lost. And the beauty of it. The strange human beauty of loss and grief. . . . I’d say the main impact on my relationship with grief is that I am not as afraid or as ashamed of it as I used to be. In some strange way, A Peculiar Shade of Blue sanctified my grief and made it ok to have it, to hold it, to bear it, and to share it. It’s like my grief settled in me, and it feels good."
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"I felt connected. Thinking about it now, I think there is a strong ritualistic element to the films which bridges the connection between the work and the audience member and gives those watching a sense of connection to a shared experience. And not just with other people, but also a powerful sense of connection with the natural world. They make me feel less alone with my grief. And knowing I am not alone helps me to process some of the things I don’t want to deal with. The films have shown me a language that can help me to explore and express those things within myself which until now have remained untouched because I did not know how to express them."
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"They have influenced my relationship to grief a great deal. As they are exploring different expressions of grief, it has made me conscious of just how many there are and that grief expresses itself in very different ways and changes over time/with time. Grief is a feeling and expressions that do not have a natural place in our society today, it is something left for us to deal with behind closed doors. Therefore it is easy to pack it up and try to make it as small and personal as possible. But it is not just personal and has a natural place with us humans, also in-between in our relationship, if it is allowed. To be able to travel with the films, and also with the discussion afterword it is a great way to open up to all the different shapes. To give the opportunity to reflect on grief, how you have come across it, how it feels and how you have seen it express, both within yourself and with others. I have found the films to deepen my relationship with grief and to be more allowing to feel it and explore it, in different aspects of life as loss is something that happens to us constantly in different shapes."
HOW DID YOU FIND THE EXPERIENCE OF SLOW CINEMA?
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"Super intelligent, it left the viewer to write their narrative, their own journey with grief. Freedom where it’s really needed."
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"I admit I was dubious (about the idea of slow cinema). How would it keep my attention span if very little was happening? But, I realised that there was something very special going on: the look; the sound, the willingness to really explore this theme, all hit me from the opening shots of the film. In fact, I was excited to see what came next."
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"This is a medium which is revealing, in the course of time, to hold great potential for the 'more than cinematic' experience of film. It requires the attention of the viewer to deepen and become more self reflective level than is usual, being a heightened aesthetic and sensual experience. There is a contemplative element at work which the power and pace of narrative can sometimes obscure, but here is allowed to open out and breathe. This is a key element in its immersive nature as an experience, but, it also widens and heightens the range of personal experience available amongst viewers, as conversations revealed after the film share - everyone's experience of the films was individual to the person, a mirror to their experience of the film's inner qualities and narrative. This is inherent to the space and time which the medium offers, and to this extent, evolving slow cinema as a medium holds immense potential and, as yet, remains an unexplored territory which could not only change how we connect with our own perceptions, and reflections, but, with each other and the world we live in. It is, in a sense, also a timely reaction to the dynamics of consumer aesthetics, where instant gratification has become a surrogate for truly integrative experience and depth of appreciation - this could be a challenge, where simply sitting and watching, being led by the experience so to speak, is the expected norm and habit, but, where the space exists for growth beyond these conditioning elements slow cinema offers, in my experience, a culturally recognisable medium and means of meeting that challenge. I personally love the opportunity for a richer, more paced aesthetic experience within the arts, as well as what may for some be an unexpected aspect of this as a filmic experience, its spacious facilitation for personal participation in the film's themes and content, and how these both reflect, affect and catalyse my own inner reflections and experiences."
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"I just loved it! I don’t find it slow a bit, it is soothing and so uplifting in many ways. Also it was not like it was long just because, the reason behind it is clear."
HOW WOULD YOU LIKE TO SEE A PECULIAR SHADE OF BLUE AT WORK IN THE WORLD?
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"The potential interactive nature of this filmic experience, as well as its adaptability, suggest that, given the appropriate contexts and right physical circumstances, an enhanced immersive Peculiar Shade Of Blue event could be both aesthetically rich and enriching, cathartic and healing, catalyse further discussion and personal transformation. What you call these/this matters less perhaps than how it is allowed to find its own appropriate form, appropriate that is to the time, place, cultural and historical contexts, peoples and communities, all of which suggests careful curation in relation to individual screenings. An online experience will be different in this respect to physical screenings, less restricted, and determinable, perhaps, but the physical manifestation of the event is where the greatest potentials exist."
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"Anyone who has experienced grief will benefit from these films. So that means everyone. Their special gift is helping us to express what we usually repress or leave unsaid because we have no words. At the end of the day, these films are not just about the journey of grief – they are also inspiring, especially in the creative sense. They open a dialogue about grief: if they don’t express how you process grief or how it feels to you, then why not create your own language or artwork around it? I suffered with depression (and I choose those words carefully) since I was a teenager and I’ve almost succumbed to the grief and despair of those thoughts all through my adult life. I have been very lucky that I had the support I needed to work through these issues – not as fully as I thought I had, mind you – the films showed me that! So I think they would be very beneficial to young people, especially those who are struggling and who might see a way to use the films and their process/approach as a springboard to find a way to connect creatively with the world. But we all experience the pain of loss in our lives, so these films and the process they advocate are really for everyone. In terms of venue, they would need to be flexible enough to offer spaces for not just the screenings, but also the post-film talks, reflection, etc. I would think art gallerys or local arts/multi-media venues would be more suitable than a standard cinema showing. For me, this work is about community – in all senses of the word. So it makes sense that the venue would have that community feel and ability for outreach also. There may also be some historical sites with venues which would work well and add value to the sense of reflection and/or that connection to the natural world or the world of our ancestors in certain surroundings after the screenings."
WOULD YOU RETURN TO THE FILMS AGAIN?
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"Yes, I need to see it once more."
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"Most definitely."
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"Yes. I really enjoyed it. I found the films had a very important message and is just so beautifully done."
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"Yes!"